hais.don't know why suddenly feel like typing this.i don't know why i suddenly feel this way.feeling that i'm alone.feeling so cold.feeling that nobody cares.feeling so helpless.feeling so extra.
feeling i'm detest by everyone.feeling so down.feeling so lost.feeling of dropping tears in anytime.feeling of scary-ness.feeling of quiting school.feeling of no peace and safe-ness.i trying my very best to do everything i can to stand up.but nothing seems to be helping.always trying to talk to myself.encouraging myself,telling myself i can stand up.but..i feel like leaving.i feel like avoiding.as sometimes i said.
shutting my mouth up,maybe the better way to solve and avoid some problems(:
i miss wahida's,sam's,shimin's,tw's,houzi's,jarpry's hugs alot.
maybe you guys will think; cheys,only hug one time,how much feeling can it be.
my replies will be; although maybe it's only one time,but the feeling of warmth,care and concern is alot more than you can imagine.
thanks for you guys always be there for me. i know you guys have been always giving me shoulders. cracking your brain just to give me some advice. thanks. i appreciate it alots.i love you guys.
but i do not want my luck to get into you guys. as i know that my luck is not very good. i have never regret to know you guys as my best-mate.
andrea;peilinn(:
"to me, you're always Perfect ."
1:58 PM
heyhey.!readers,good morning.!(:i wil begin my post with ytd(:erms, ytd wake up at 10 plus.then met my friend at around 11 plus.bought my breakfast mac.haas.!having to buy my favourite,sausage muffin WITHOUT egg.cause i don't like their egg. ^^reached my friend's house,ate.our entertainment for the day is watching vcd.kungfu panda.~;how fast can you swim;my left eye see ghost.hahs. actually we intend to watch the maid.but at last never..my lunch was to eat hehees.mac again.macWING.!while i eating,sheng korkor smsed me.saying that qing very bored,wanna meet.then met at 5 plus 6 at lot 1.saw korkor face damn tired.hahas.went to library awhile as qing need to borrow book for school work.borrowed,went to mac again.! my dinner. HHAHAHHAHs.!erms,macFLURRY.!then is like my whole day is MACday lars. :D:D:D:D:D:Dsaw tw and co at there working(:after eating,came to my house.watch vcd again;one missed call.hahahas.abit scary lars. hehees. kana scared afew times. :pkorkor and qing went back at around 10 plus.my friend stay until around 11 plus going 12.i watch the other vcd finished.went to bed lers.quite tired after watching.so today wake up a 10 plus 11.having washed up then called mother to help me buy breakfast as mother went to shop and save.cha gui as my breakfast.thanks mother(:and now blogging lers lors(:will be continuing update today around tonight,should be(:only one week before school reopening lers.having an urge of quiting school.don't know what's going to happen again lers. =/why do you still want to play the game.?i already say i lose lers.i make it as i lose lers.i don't wanna play lers.very scary game):
"to me, you're always Perfect ."
12:02 PM
280608; slack at home.nothing to do. what i did was just okays. eat,sleep and watch tv. very bo liaos rights. then went to lot 1. met sheng korkor. went to eat dinner with him. after that we waited qing at lot 1 actually. a minute after,she called sheng. and told sheng that she's at 288 rather than lot lors. =.= so me and korkor walked damn fast to 288 to meet her. on the way there,something real digesting happened okays. haas.! better don't say,if not korkor will kill me. around night lers,he sms-ed me, telling me that he's alone at home. so i asked him to come and meet me,korkor and qing. met. went to my house,watch some vcd. feeling bored. actually was getting qing to go home first. as she said that she's quite tired liaos. but then we suddenly went to downstairs der 7-11 to buy maggies to eat lors. went to 288,ate. then there's two cyclist.very irritating. hahas. the breaking of their bike is damn noisy lors. i was like going to scold them. then we chatted for very long time. until 3 plus. went home. scolded by sister. i.miss.youtoday's post will be posted by tonight or tomorrow's morning(: short of time. i need alot of time(:
"to me, you're always Perfect ."
4:56 AM
today just quite tired barhs.erms,morning 10 plus wake u.called yun and yi asking what time to meet them.so decided to meet 1230pm.met.took 190 to town to have kbox.hahas.having pictures taken.i will update in a week's time.haas.!having fun.then jun came along at 5 plus.she sang a few high songs and time's up.then actually want to meet ahong ders lors.but he that time at outram park.which is damn far lars. -for me lars =.=,cans?-loled.~went to taka buy things then me and yi went to take 190 back.yun and jun go on with their shop shop.me and yi drop at the same bus stop as i meeting my friend.awhile only lars.went to near by and sit down talk talk.met sheng korkor,qing and hao at 288 at around 9.having chit chat and slack lors.i bought chocolates.hahas.yum yum~went off around 1030pm.tml meeting sheng korkor and co again.hehees:D:D:D:D:D:Dtoday is a day where tired and funny combines(:miss my pigs,wahida,tw alot okays.btw,school is re-opening soon.i'm damn sians lors.how much i wish i can predict the future.so i can plan till nice nice.don't know how to face him.he changed alot.not only me say that. is alot of people said that.i found out that sometimes shutting mouth up,will be a better way(:i'm in a lost.
totally.
what should i do.
actually today i'm damn shag ders lors, okays?
pretending to smile.
"to me, you're always Perfect ."
11:22 PM
dear readers..today i will not be posting what have happened today.cause is all family family family.maybe you guys will find it strange,but haas.!nothing..just don't wish to post.just going to say that today after something,i went to collect my testimonial with my mother.went to lot 1 ate lunch. -KFC-today i bought i new pair of slipper!happy lehs~then walk walk around the boring lot 1.took 300 -home sweet home- liaos.btw,ytd i got my results and i was happy with my results althought is not 4 GPA.
hahas. ; OSA(A),OCM,CTR and SMB (Bs).
GPA;3.250.(:
i told my mother,she's very happy.hahsand so now i'm blogging(:this post is currently post at 0106 pm.you finally sms-ed me.do you know i feel when you sms-ed me.?i feel so light,un-reality.i don't know why that i just feel this way.can someone tell me why do i feel this way.?
"to me, you're always Perfect ."
1:06 PM
HELLO(:this will be a long post wors.cause quite a long day to me.hahas.hope you guys enjoy this granny story(:today early in the morning around 8 woke up as ahong asked me to.actually he was the one who said will morning call me.but end up,i was the one ho is miss call-ing him lors .damn lame lors o.O!so met ahong at lot 1 there around 930actually i buying mac breakfast.but i thought of like buy liaos then reach school,should be cold lers.then not nice,so never buy.took 188.reached..today moving to a new club room! -a small and DAMN small one-first thing we did is to clean up.me and ling went to look for pail and mop.so to mop.i went to look for cloth to wipe the windows.me and ling found out something digesting in club room.haas.! there's a fan inside.when me and ling were trying to seperate the parts to wash seperate-ly.then we using so much strength,a last it's was seperated. ended up,we saw alot of dust coming out.!!!!!me and ling kept sneezing after that.!hahas.finished with cleaning.jiu moving liaos.the space of the new club room is so small that we can only manage to walk 1 small round after putting every NECESSARY items lors.after moving of "house"..they went shooting.i cant shoot lers.so just sit there and watched.hahas.boring.there's still a time when ahong make me angry lors.hahas.but everything is okays lers (:i order mac after all ~ =.=''we went off at 6 plus cause i have to meet sheng korkor & co at lot 1.so me and ahong went up 188 first cause ahling and the rest going to wait for ahyeo.on the way,i keep suan-ing ahong lors.damn funny:D:D:D:Dactually meet at lot 1.but in the end meet at near sheng korkor's house there ders 188 busstop(:hao come here to meet us too.ahong wanted to see hao as they know each other lors.what a small world rights? -i know-~haas.!after meeting,ahong went home by lrt and we went to lot 1 to eat long john.sians lors.but still having laughs.finished with eating lers,jiu went to 288 to have chit chats with them. (:listen to music all that.like going back to past.:Dreached home around 9 plus.cousin wei smsed me, asking me want to go near his house chat marhs, i say anything lors.since i very sian and bath hao lers.feeling comfortable to go out more mood marhs (:chat with his friends too(:reached home again at 11 plus.this time never go out again lers.so now blogging marhs(:post to diyi ;may i know what happened?what game are you playing?i'm very worried.can you just send me 3 words(you're fine),to at least let me rest assured you are alright?
"to me, you're always Perfect ."
12:12 AM
today went to east coast with wahida,diana,weiyi,weihoon,yuting and kheng hong.so poor thing ders kheng hong is the only guys.morning wahida smsed me then i woke up-ed. when it was already 1030. O.O!!hahas.then i chiong down to jurong to meet yuting,kheng hong,wahida and diana.we actually wait for ray and teck whye.but for the whole day ray is un-reachable and teck whye cant make it for some reasons.so we headed to kallang to meet weiyi and weihoon actually.but when we on the train,weiyi called and tell us to meet them at around marine park parade.reached kallang,waited for 197,we actually know how to go.suddenly there's a uncle there thought that we don't know how to go.he ask where we going and how to go.me and yuting were like; O.O! we know how to go uncle.-wondering-reach MPP-lazy to type out-,went to EC.we reached and sit on the chair.me,wahida and diana decided to go to walk walk.after we went to rent bike,but me and ida went to rent blades.then having 30 mins of it.my back cant tahan.so i try to change and the uncle let lehs.~~we on the way of riding and blading,me and ida chatted alot.hahas.is damn alotttttttttttttt okays. (:we got alot to catch up with each other.after 2 hours.return blades and bikes.went to mac and find the three beauties.15 to 20 mins went back to beach and play with water and sand.today's water.tights? is quite high lors.almost everyone of us ders pants got wet abit.hahas.photos taken. -will be uploading in a few days time-so then went home at 5 plus 6.took 1 hour plus route bus home.reached clementi and called ahkor asking to eat dinner together.so went to 302 to have "wu xiang".chatted while eating.chatted alot too (:then meet un-ordinary girl at lot 1,pay her back money in one shot.walked to 288 and have chat with both of them.having lots of laughters and sorrows chat.thinking of past memories.haas.!giving alot advice to each other. (:back at home around 10 plus to 11.bathe and here i am blogging(:
"to me, you're always Perfect ."
12:06 AM
just came back from staying overnight with friends. so tired nors (=.=) fly away man.. just wake up.. then thinking of blog lers,jiu go and have my dinner.! ((((((: meet at around 4 plus then went to imm to pass aloy his psp charger. he changed alot wors. hahahs. wear colour contact lens,having his hair coloured. wahida they also did tell me he changed,i cant believe,till i saw him by my own eyes. then went over to meet the rest. hahas. reached our destination. tired. hahhas. having alots of fun playing the laser game(: but i never play.just stand by the side and see them play. laugh out my ass can. damn funny lor. :D sadd-ed that never took any pictures. we went to the nearest kopitiam to buy something to mum mum. full full liaos,jiu went to spermarket buy things. go back and enjoy the taste of drunk.(sister,if you're reading my blog,please don't tell mama.) we play poker cards,by alot of methods;smallest numbers with different shapes and etc. i lost quite a number of times. in the results of..........DRUNK! i don't know what i did do or what. stomach doesn't feel well,i go and force myself to vomit. then everything came out. lots of colours ders can? -eeeeeeekkkkkkkkkyyyyyyyyyy- don't know whys.. rest around 3 plus. then fell alseep at around 4 plus. i sleep till,i'm not that sure lehs. should be 5 plus 6 wake up lers. then saw dakugua sitting at the kitchen there.and houzi sleeping,so i went to take a look at dakugua. talked to him till morning 8 plus. then lied on the floor and sleep for awhile. aound 9 plus went to eat mac breakfast at JE. dakugua and liting's face damn long cause both gas. pain. then took mrt home lors. at the time at least they got laugh and smile lers. ah hum will never failed to make people laugh ders okays.! hahas.!!!~ reached home at 10 plus 11. sleep till around 6 plus and blogging lers. typing quite slow cause head still abit giddy. hahas.! thanks you guys for cheering me up.(: love you guys.(: i very sad that i cant join today's jarprysister's gathering. as i don't feel well.): sorry girls. i will be organising a make up session with you girls (: to dakugua; don't sad 'bout tml's work lers. if you feel boring or what can sms me(: i will be there for you(:
"to me, you're always Perfect ."
7:42 PM
i'm back.boredom..hais.for the past few days i was quite filled.just cause don't want to think too much things.and i have just smsing people.then i suddenly miss of wahida and co,secretpigs.!hahas.and him. i miss him alot alot. ("hou zi" please don't jealous)for the past 1 year plus i have not been seeing him.nowadays went to try-s.smsed him.HE REPLIED.!i happy.but when i always went to read his blog.saddness,sorrows a lot of things happened in his life.i read those recent posts.i cried.don't really bare to see him like thisat this point,i feel so useless again ):cant even help him in anything.i have never see him so low before.seriously,even in the past.1 year plus ago same thing happened on us.he maybe not as sad as this.maybe he love her more than he love me in the past.Heys, please. this relationship of theirs last going to 9 months,of course sad lars. (i told this to myself,how stupid am i)when i read, that type of heartache feeling came back.seriously difficult in breathing~what should i do,can someone please teach me what can i do.?fen.shou.yi.nian.duo.hou,wo.hai.shi.xiang.zhe.ni ):waiting for the day when we meet up again with pengyu,jess and sandy(:xiaozhuzhu,pai sehhhs.i really no mood as you can see from my post.thanks for today pei me eat dinner(:
"to me, you're always Perfect ."
12:46 AM
Today went for archery.Met Jianhui at lot 1 at 9 plus,10.Reached school around 10 plus.Me and him chat alot.All the way to school.Then meet ah ong they all at club room.hehees.alot of them reached lers.So me and ling very hungry.ah ong and horo also.we decided to go and eat.went to central.things happened on the way.back to school.waited for mr lim to come,he told me to try out.so i try at first they told me to try for 22.sad to say.i cant. burst out to tears. (the feeling of failure came back ever since sec 3)then they asked me to try 18p.i have get a try.then slowy everything get more smooth lers.happy lehs~~~~ ((:hahas.around 6 plus to 7 everyone went home.expect me,ah ong,ling,jinghao and alerick.we sing and laughs.7 plus went off,me and ah ong went to take bus.he sent me home. (:ling and co went central for dinner..hahas.reached home, ate dinner.and now i having to blog-eddddd.'bout to be upload the 2 days of archery tournement,and ton at town.hahas.but should be at a later time or tomorrow morning barhs. (:having blueblacks on my arms and hand joints.pain ):PEACE it simple :D
"to me, you're always Perfect ."
6:40 AM
thanks for my xiaozhuzhu(:thanks for helping me to make a brand new blog.making a new start(:hehees(:
"to me, you're always Perfect ."
7:00 AM
